Bradley's Aftermath

     

      It's quite challenging to form a brief statement regarding just how immensely important it is for any person to gain any form of education within our current society. Hell, I'm one-hundred percent positive that I just burnt through my entire SAT vocabulary word list in that last sentence, and I'm sure most jobs would require me to possess this sort of formal, dry lexicon in order to give off a “professional” impression; and this isn't even going into utilizing the skills you honed through what is no doubt a very long, extensive period of training, with a nice, shiny diploma on the side.

     But guess who doesn't have to deal with that sort of crap? Sims. Ever since the first base game, these gibberish-speaking pixel people could just pick up any given newspaper, look through the wanted ads, and become a certified, licensed medical expert on the spot. As such, this is what I imagine the average doctor in the Sims' universe functions like:

    Well, I'm exaggerating. A bit. With the right expansion pack installed for The Sims 2 and The Sims 3 (and, presumably, expansions will be created for future sequels), you can send a Sim packing and they'll find themselves smack dab in the world of higher education in order to achieve a sweet, hopefully not worthless-down-the-road diploma -- medical-based professions included. After knocking their brains loose attempting to earn that diploma by keeping a healthy balance between studying and socializing, that is.

   Bradley Holland, Baby No. 2 of the First Generation, is no exception to this rule. Once he left his mother's home, off he went, entering the world known simply as Sims University, where the co-ed Malan Hall Dormitory House welcomed him with open arms.

   By having his roommates set the communal kitchen on fire. The first day of college always has a few surprises in store.

      To be fair, this is far more entertaining that any new student orientation has been, ever. Speaking of orientations, Brad was immediately forced by the game AHEM INVITED to his only after an hour of settling into his new dorm -- and the only reason he even left Malan Hall was to stock up on the endless candy bars, soda cans, Frisbee and hackey sacks that Sims U was more than happy to supply its student body with -- and proceed to sell them all for an easy $500 simoleons.

Brad was kind enough to give his pro tips to others.

     

     After his impromptu lecture, our star student got an early start on his academic career by studying the vials of plant, insect, fish, mineral samples that had mysteriously appeared in his inventory. He'll be doing this a lot, since the University progress bar is so finicky it's not even funny. No kidding, right after Brad finished his analyzing for the day, his around 75% full progress bar had deteriorated to 65% after just one night of sleep.

Sims games become so realistic whenever it's inconvenient for the player. 

      To be fair, Brad had managed to become such good enough friends with a girl named Ye Gangnam shortly after finishing his analysis that he was immediately invited to her sorority house for a bonfire party. In the brutal heat of summertime. 

     Naturally, said bonfire become more of a pool party, but Brad spiced it up a bit by tossing peppermint into the flames, just for the hell of it. 

       Brad must've snuck some cinnamon in as well, that's for sure!

      Ye, thankfully, was too enraptured by Brad's infamous large eyes and pouty lips to notice such an awkward animation glitch flirting fail with Samantha Grey, and marched right on over to him, waxing poetic about how their shared dislike of children was so charming.

     As such, the next night dealt with not two students' fiery passion, but cosmic bowling with really cheap bar drinks.

    Cosmic bowling does come with a price, however: really low grades. (Never mind the fact that Brad was the only one who stayed awake during the entire lecture.) Ye will just have to deal with really quick in-class texts.

    After an entire two weeks of nothing but studying, eating, sleeping and bathing, Brad managed to ace all of his finals. 

    Thankfully, Brad did manage to socialize with his dorm mates (and sort-of girlfriend) for an entire two hours before the game immediately booted him back to Midnight Hollow. I responded by booting him straight back to Sims U for another two weeks so he can get all of his credits and graduate. I felt pretty bad that Brad didn't get much social time outside of his first two nights at Uni, so I made it up to him by letting him rent an actual home on campus.

Seeing Sims University in winter was worth it for the lag.

   Before the game could invite Brad over to a lecture hall so he could sell all the free crap they give him for full price, Ye dropped by to make their relationship official (with a wink and question about zodiac signs). Brad's new roomie, Alison Kramer, got in on the happy moment by getting in the nude.

    Once Brad arrived and left said lecture hall with a haul of Simoleons, Brad's old Malan Hall roomie, Anoki Moon, showed up, ready for some old-fashioned back-to-school selfie and partying action.

      The selfie didn't work out great, but the juice kegs at a local fraternity served its purpose with flying colors. Brad didn't even mind waking up the next day with a hangover and a crappy academic progress bar!

      However, I certainly do. If you're going to college strictly to party, you're going to have a bad time. As such, much studying commenced from that day forth. Because I love you, I'll spare every last grind-tastic moment from those two weeks. Really, this pictures sums all of these tedious events up:

It doesn't account for the total amount of money spent on Simbucks, unfortunately.

    Thankfully, "hard work hardly works" wasn't the case here -- After wring-drying his brain and getting carpal tunnel syndrome in his right wrist, Brad passed all of his finals with flying colors once again, leading to a nice solid 4.0 GPA.

    

     Sadly, the rest of the family couldn't make it to the graduation ceremony, but Brad wasn't completely alone  -- he got a shiny new trait! That, and his girlfriend and ex-roomies were kind enough to invite him to yet another juice kegger.

     After a raging 7 hour keg party, the game booted Bradley back to Midnight Hollow with hisperfect GPA and elevated careers in the medical path. However, there was some money left over from selling the house back at Sims U, and Ye was getting pretty antsy to take the relationship to the next level. . .

     Only three days after graduation from college, Bradley Holland and Ye Gangnam tied the knot in the backyard of their new home -- at least it makes up for missing the graduation ceremony. By the way, see how dark this wedding is? 

     These are pictures with some photo editing, so your eyes wouldn't die from the muscle strain. To be fair, the wedding did take place in early fall, during the evening of an already overcast day. As such, Ye and Bradley dressed in the most mature, elegant looking gothic harajuku outfits they could find. 

This is what happens when Tim Burton designs your wedding with assistance from Gwen Stefani.

   The Hollands welcomed the bride into the family with open arms. While she was finishing her slice of wedding cake, Brad told Ye why exactly he has four brothers and four sisters, and who was next to carry the family tradition. Ye breathed in, walked over to Gwen, smiled, took her hand, looked her in the eye and said, "Would I hate to be in your shoes!"